A little yuletide profundity for ya.

The snow is falling outside. The ground and windshields are draped by a frozen concoction with the enticing consistency of cranberry ice. A custom family-sized stuffed pizza from Papa Murphy's is baking in the oven, filling the apartment with the cozy potpourri of aromas you only get from a Christmasy blend of Canadian bacon, pineapple, sausage, olives, chicken, green peppers, tomatoes, chives, traditional pizza sauce, and made-fresh today bread. A documentary on the geologic history of Yosemite Valley plays quietly on the tv. Soon I'll be feasting, enjoying a holiday film feature. This is the life.

Anyway, I figured since it's bound to come up a bunch in coming years, I may as well state my official, but still amendable, views on the origins of the planet. I'd hate for anyone to think I was apostate. I'm not. Really.

First off, the gospel is, was, and ever shall be true. Nothing ever offered man has proven more reliable, logical, genuine or beneficial than the good news of our Lord. I recognize that, and will stand by Him in anything He teaches. That said, it seems to not be His purpose to teach just exactly what went down before we came up. Every thinking Christian recognizes the potential for a multiplicity of interpretations of each passage of scripture, which can only be solved by revelation. When revelation is lacked, there is mighty room for speculation, friends, mighty room. My thoughts and early conclusions are as follows:

-- We don't know. My youthful philosophy on radiometric dating was, simply put, "You weren't there a billion years ago, how do you know this answer is right?" No scientist, no theologian was ever around for anything concerned with the formation of the planet. Either it was all done in some way we haven't fathomed and time began 6000 years ago so we all missed it, or it took 4.6 billion years as science speculates, which leaves us with about 500 years' decently recorded history, or about 1/9,200,000 of Earth's history that we can reliably describe. And in that time, relatively nothing has happened.

--God did it. Whether He organized everything just right in that little speck of infinity, then hit the 'Go' button and has looked on in satisfaction ever since the Big Bang, or whether He globbed the matter together in His labratory, dug the canyons with His mighty index finger and pinched up the mountain ranges between His unconquerable thumbs, then set Adam down and hit that 'Go' button, it was Him that set everything in motion in His own knowing way.

--Rocks are cool.

-- There are those who point to what is reputed around here to be the only talk ever given in conference on the matter, by Elder Talmage, approved by the 1st Presidency, in which he preached deep time, and stated that death had been going on for billions of years before Adam. There are also those who point to such statements as that I read in the Old Testament manual on Sunday after everybody'd moved on, in which Elder (maybe President by then) F. Smith said something to the effect of, "It is impossible for any man to believe in this theory of the earth, and to believe in the Plan of Salvation. Any man who says he believes both is a liar and a fool, because it's impossible." Other authorities have stated their feelings towards either side of the issue. I reckon this to be similar to the Christian divide between salvation through works, and that through grace. Every reasonable discourse I've heard on either side of that issue has said pretty much the same thing, they just don't realize that they already agree, because neither understands their 'opponent's' meaning. I may well be completely wrong, but it seems likely to be the case if inspired men are, with such conviction, at odds with each other.

--A lot about evolution and the big bang and all that stuff does make more sense than you'd think. That may only be because scientists can say whatever they want to make stuff make sense, and I've no desire to become a biologist, nor intention of becoming an astrophysicist, so I'll leave that to them. Did we come from monkeys from fish from plankton from chemicals from stars from light from an infinite speck of infiniteness, to become humanity with the crowning addition of spirits to the prepared tabernacles? Or were we molded and planted here in no time at all? I dunno. They both seem logical and justifiable to me. Tell that to the next democrat who calls me closed-minded, will you?

-- Geology works. The more I learn about science, the more laughable it seems to me. If ever there was a misnomer, it was science. We don't hardly 'sci' anything. We can't see small enough to understand chemistry, nor grand enough to understand the universe. So people guess until they come up with something that works, and if nobody can disprove it, the guess is built on as the foundation of truth until further notice. They are good guesses, though, because they work. Without science, we'd still be in caves. No comfort so common to us would be available without science. We can make plastic, build and fuel cars, grow food, do all sorts of amazing things, largely because of chemistry, and we know where to find the materials to create these things because of geology. It's entirely possible that when the Creator was poking and prodding this ball of clay to perfection, He built it so as to lead us to these conclusions about dinosaurs and prehistoric swamps and plate tectonics so that we would know how to access the treasures He'd planted inside the planet. That is to say, the Earth would be young, but it would be His purpose for us to treat it as though it was old. Or it could be that old. Or we could just be really lucky. Whatever the case, the model they've come up with works, so one can make the world a better place by studying it, using it, teaching it and advancing it.

--Brother Brigham says Satan can make pancakes. Maybe he can make fossils too? Or maybe the "more refined" matter of spirit creations can leave imprints to become fossils? It's a stretch. We're just brainstorming here.

--The order of creations in the scriptures matches reasonably well with the order of such things according to science. If you accept ancient algae as a plant (it was photosynthetic and green?) and suppose that science is allowed one mistake in putting stars before planets, when the scriptures say it was planet then light, it fits okay! Fascinating, I thought.

--I really don't know everything about geology, and geologists really don't know everything either. Heck, the entire modern state of the science is based on plate tectonics, and we've only been working with that since the 1960s. That's not a very long time to decode a planet.

--Miracles happen, and if the brother of Jared or the brother of the brother of Thomas S. Monson (see, his brother's brother, it's him, right? see what I did there?) says unto yon Rocky Mountain range, "Be thou cast into the sea!" it shall be done. And then geologists the world over will throw up their hands and take to liquor.

--God thinks very quickly, and could almost certainly keep up if he sped up the process a hundred billion times until we got here. It may well have happened in what we would call an instant, rather than billions of years or six days. And yes, that 'almost certainly' was a joke. I'm sure He could.

--It apparently doesn't matter, because it hasn't been revealed. So I'm just gonna play along, and then find out when I go over the Jordan. In the meantime, should I be describing whatever aspect of creation and say something about, "See, 350,000,000 years ago, blah blah blah..." I'm just speaking as a geologist speaks to the best of our human understanding. I realize it could be entirely wrong.

And I guess that's that. I had a couple other thoughts, I think, but it's hard to keep track of them all at once, ya know? I'll surely add and subtract from this as time goes by without telling anybody unless it comes up. I know nobody here thinks I'm apostate, I'm mainly just getting my thoughts out there and gearing up for a lifetime of dirty looks from ward members who think I'm possessed of a devil, along with the jeers of my atheist coworkers. Whoo-hoo.

I have now updated my blog for the first time since school started. What a refreshing feeling! Oh, and I wanted to share this video 'cause it's super amazing. And that's that. Charlie Brown Christmas på svenska, the time is yours.

Culinary Escapades

I've learned my lesson about using words on my blog with which I'm only mostly sure of the definition. So I looked up "escapade" before writing this to make sure it didn't just mean "the act of escaping." According to dictionary.com, the second definition has to do with escaping. The first has to do with "a reckless adventure or wild prank." I was aiming for reckless adventures, and that is evidently a valid use of the word. Isn't that just sublime? Now I venture forth in renewed confidence to explain this reckless culinary adventure.

As of late I've been venturing somewhat recklessly into the culinary world. I figure it's possible to eat much more cheaply and healthily by making your own food. Recent exploits include mixing two cans or refried beans, one can of corn, and two packages of imitation crab over the stove, and using the solution as chip dip or burrito filling. I thought it might be the biggest new thing in years. Turned out it tasted a lot like refried beans. I can live with that.

In the course of a recent evening, I found myself considering the case of a mission favorite, the kebab tallrik. Fries can be bought at one or two dollars for a large bag, as can salad. I have sauce. The peppers, though missed, were mostly a gimmick after all. That left only meat posing any significant financial issue. So today I was at Walmart, and found some thinly-sliced steak of which I forgot to note the name, for something like $4.58/lb, which ended up leaving a reasonable price on a surprisingly reasonable amount of meat. So I went for it. Meat, fries, salad, probably ended up less that $10, and will almost certainly last for three or four meals. I even got some orange soda, calling upon memories of cooks marinating meat in the stuff.

Got home, did some laundry, found myself available to prepare the food for future enjoyment. So I trimmed the fat off the edges of the meat and sliced it all up into appropriate kebab-sized strips. I found a box of gallon-sized zip-locks in our general use cupboard and pulled one out. There's nothing more to marinading than putting the meat in a bag or dish with the marinade, I figure. So I put the meat in the bag, and I pour in some soda.

And the table starts turning orange. And wet. That was a life-changing moment. Up to that instant, I hadn't any inkling that people made bags specifically designed to leak. Suddenly the world was a more complex, more hostile place. Apparently these are special bags for storing vegetables that need air to stay fresh, or something like that. I sprang into action with a couple of nearby kitchen towels, and eventually a third, soaking up the orange-flavored blood... or the blood-flavored orange soda... hopefully the latter, chuckling inside at the irony of soaking all three of our kitchen towels at the very moment my laundry is sitting in the dryer. I ended up putting the culination (yeah, pretty sure that's not a word at all) in a cup of bachelor apartment proportions, which had room for the meat and the soda quite perfectly. So perfectly, in fact, that it looks a lot like a cup of soda with meat-shaped ice cubes. Fortunately, I'm the only one using my fridge currently, so there should be no reason for any adventurer to drink any.

Hopefully this was a good idea. In a couple hours I'll fry it all, put it in the fridge to keep, and eat some food that Mom sent home with me on Sunday. I've had enough escapadery for one day.

Road trip!

As Dan and/or Tanya so aptly pointed out, I told them I was gonna blog about something and then didn't. So now I shall.

I shall travel to Arizona. Never done that before. But it's looking like it's gonna pan out this week. I work at Timp Wednesday and Thursday, and that's all for this week. The geology work is particularly flexible this week, so that won't be an issue. The only remaining complication would be if Timp puts up the schedule for next week and has me working Monday, but that should be easy to remedy.

So yeah. I discovered the opportunity for this weekend, then Bret said, or rather Lindsey said Bret said, that he also wanted to go to Arizona this weekend. So it will likely be a non-solo trip. It might be, things still seem to be a bit up in the air, but it seems likely this will pan out. So, leave Friday, play in Mesa for a couple days, advance my cause, impress the heck out of any potential in-laws, come back sometime on Monday. Aside from the blazing deadly unbreathable heat, it should be a grand time. And heck, it'll be a good warm-up anyway supposing I go down again in July.

It's a little tricky planning something like this, largely 'cause I haven't any idea what I'm doing. I bought one of those car GPS tricks off of ebay, that should be swell to have around, unless of course Bret already knows the way and is awake. I got my hair cut today, and the barber lady (barbress?) seemed to understand when I explained the need to have that "week-and-a-half after the haircut" look by Friday, so hopefully I'm cute. If I'm going solo, basically my plan is to plug in the GPS, throw some clothes in the back and see where the road takes me. Sweet plan, I know. If Bret and Co are coming, then I'm really not sure how things'll go down, though it'll likely involve fewer regretable college-bachelor type decisions. Ah heck, anybody else wanna come to? I'm sure there's plenty of fun for the whole family down in Arizona. We all know Utah pretty well, a change of scenery can't hurt. And who wants to be in California, that place is gonna break apart and drown any day now! [incidentally, that's not true at all.] If enough of us work together, we're bound to be able to find the right roads!

So just so you know, I'm gonna be away this weekend. If any of you get a call from me asking what to do after missing that left turn at Albuquerque and ending up in Kansas, you needn't wonder now why I'm not sitting safely in Provo.

Ah yes, faithful readers, I live on. I'm sure you're all dying to know what's been going on with me these past months, even though I'm equally sure most everybody who reads this already knows everything, but this post won't actually discuss anything recent. I spent much of yesterday and today making some slideshow videos of my mission. Two are complete. I present to you now my rough draft of a video featuring Jakobsberg (my first area. rough draft because I lack certain pictures I desire and am hoping to get them from the appropriate companions.) and the probably final draft of the more light-hearted half of Malmo (my fifth area) and I hope you heartily approve of both.

The Beginning of the End of the Beginning

School started again yesterday. I'm taking 12.5 credits this semester, and my goal is to get 12.5 A credits. I've never done that before, and really I don't know how. But dang it, it's gonna happen.

Yesterday I had New Testament in the morning, that was all. No big attitude shift required. But today... today I start both of my 4 credit classes, Geology and Calculus. And guitar, but really that's not as intimidating. Geology starts in about 40 minutes. Once that happens, it's all over. I'll be busy for the rest of the semester. Classes on Tuesday and Thursday, studying and homework Monday and Wednesday, work Friday and Saturday, rest on the blessed Sabbath.

Wish me luck.

I'm going in...

Stiiiiiiiill don't get it

We talked about the House of Israel in sunday school today. Not much about that topic has ever made much sense to me. Take for example the following simplified version of a dialogue found in most any Israel discussion:

Teacher: Who are the House of Israel?
Class: We are!
Teacher: Right! And what's a Gentile?
Class: Somebody who's not of the House of Israel!
Teacher: Right! And who are the Gentiles?
Class: We are!
Teacher: Right!

That discussion went about the same way in Sweden as it did in America. I'm curious how it would go in other areas of the world. In the meantime, my patriarchal blessing, indeed the very nature of patriarchal blessings tells me that I'm of Israel. The Book of Mormon tells me I'm a Gentile.

What the heck.

BZZT!

I've got this memory from when I was probably 5 or 6 years old, living in Colorado. I was out in the front yard. Storm. I'd say I was around ten feet away from that tree we had, and what do you know, a bolt of lightning comes down just a few feet away from me. I conclude that it would be best for me to not be there, and I run back into the house as fast as my little feet can get me there.

In recent years, I've looked back on that memory, and at one point was struck by the thought: shouldn't I be dead if that happened? Maybe I'd dreamed the whole thing, or remembered wrong, or just been imaginating. I mean, it was a long time ago. Another memory from around then involves some balloons floating off in one direction, while my sister swears that in reality they flew the opposite direction.

So today after my weather class in which we were discussing lightning, I ran the story by my professor to see what he thought. He said it was entirely possible, albeit very lucky. He seemed to think that the lightning hit the tree instead of the ground, and I remember it hitting the ground, but so what, I still say I got a professional confirmation. And it's really nice to have that somewhat settled.