Another one bites the dust

I knew a fellow in Sweden named Caldwell. His first name was Elder. He always wore a suit, and he said he was a Mormon. We had a lot in common, except his name was Caldwell. Mine was, and is, something else. This Elder Caldwell was a nice fellow. I liked him. Didn't run into him all that much, but we were in the same zone for a while, and he seemed like a swell guy.

One evening, my companion and I traveled down from our northern area to a less northern area so we could be closer to zone conference the next day. You know how it is, getting on a four hour train at four in the morning. We decided to skip that. So we went and slept over with some other like-minded guys. Elder C was one of them. We two got along, and our companions got along, so they talked all night and we talked all night. Well ya know, until 10:30 anyway. As the evening wore on, it comes to my attention that he has a younger sister who was my age (he was older, you see) and she was widely reputed, by him, to be the kind of girl that "most guys would give their right arm for." Man, I was sold. He even showed me a picture. Yep, she was a girl alright.

At this point in my mission, I wasn't getting too much lovin' from the girls back home. So I think to myself, "Hey, I should totally write her," and he thinks to myself, "Yeah you should." So he gives me his home address, and I write her a letter. Never got an answer. Dern it. Totally forgot about it months ago.

Then today I'm looking for old mission buddies on facebook, right? I figure ol' Elder C is back by now, I look him up. He doesn't seem to be there. But I see this girl with his same last name... and her name is the same as his sister's... and she's going to BYU... and she looks remarkably like the one picture I ever saw... and I'm thinkin', "Dude... it's that chick!"

Then I think, "Dude... why does she have another name after Caldwell, and why is she cuddling with that guy in her profile picture?" Then I think, "Dude, why do you think? She's hitched." So I guess that's the end of that particular venture.

Darn two-timer. I sure dodged that bullet, eh?